Erika: What dreams did Eric have when he was younger? Where did he see himself as a grown up? What job did he dream of as a kid? What is his dream holiday or place to go? How does his dreams look like now? Have they changed, or is the endgame still the same? Life happens, but what if you put that to the side. What are your real dreams, and can you make your dreams come true?
The first memory I have of my dream job as a kid was to become a bus driver! I used to be on my pink metallic coloured bicycle and pretend it was a bus. I stopped at lamp posts and pretended they were bus stops, and I loved it. My second memory is of me and a friend making a filofax, pretending I was a lawyer and she my assistent. We made it out of a hard back notebook, some plastic wrap and a little bit of tinfoil, and I’ve kept it. That dream hasn’t really faded, and has been a continues dream through out the years. When I turned twenty, one of my brothers even got me a suitcase because he could see me in a suit travelling with work, when I got a bit older. I also, at the same time, bought a real Filofax. My own! A black leather, medium size, Filofax.
As I said, that dream hasn’t faded. I’m going to study and pursue that dream. I’m going to need my Filofax for the future and my suitcase to travel. I see myself with a well paid job that I love, living with my soulmate, having kids and travelling the world. Loving life and enjoying it while living it. Where I’m at now is not what I planned for, but on the other hand I would never have met Eric. I’ve been stuck far too long and I finally feel that I’m ready to move on and start this new adventure, which I call “Life – part two”. Part one is done! My excuse for studying has always been that I’m not sure what I want to study. That’s a bad excuse, and I’ve changed my way of thinking. It also helps that Eric pushes me, in a good way! I’m now going to start studying, and then it will take me where I want to go, work wise. I’ve always been independent, and that part really scares me. But as I’ve mentioned in earlier posts, in Sweden we have CSN that helps students financially. I just need to take the step and remember that I don’t want part two to be the same as part one.
I’ve always wanted to travel, and especially outside Europe, but felt scared because of my diabetes. Mostly because I feel so safe with the swedish health care and don’t know how other countries outside Europe would treat my diabetes, if I would need any help. It’s silly, and I know I’d be fine, so it’s time to change that way of thinking too. One of my travelling dreams is to go to America and drive across the country, from east to west, or the other way around. I want to go to a tropical island and relax in the sun, watch the sunset and bathe in beautiful oceans. I want to explore the beauty of Europe and all its old cities and architecture. I want nature, big busy cities, peaceful places and different cultures. And all this I want to experience with Eric. Now, in a few years or/and later on in life.
I was a happy kid, even when I got my diabetes as an eleven year old. My first memory when diagnosed with diabetes, and hospitalised, was getting served pancakes as an afternoon snack so… 🙂 I used to always choose the happy alternative, or see things in a positive way, but I changed in my mid twenties. I guess life happened and I started to realise I needed to grow up and take responsibilities for things, not only go “Hey ho” to things. One year ago I met this guy. Let’s call him Eric 😉 And he changed me. He changed me back to my old self, and I love it. I love him. I had forgotten about the old me, and how much I liked that person and her smile. I had forgotten about my dreams and my plans for my life. You can grow up and still be childish. You can be responsible and still be happy.