Erika: Yesterday I wanted to think about something else than my bad mood. Yes, it’s that time of the month… And my plan was to write about it to get it out of my system, but the tech Gods had other plans for me. Not that my iPhone, iPad or MacBook didn’t work and that I wasn’t able to write, but because of my lack of knowledge about technical products. I wanted to quickly transfer photos and videos from my iPhone to my laptop. No, not possible. I kept trying, unplugging, plug back in, pulled my hair, changed some settings, called IT support (which is Eric), some more unplugging and back in, changing some more settings, restart and try some more. No, still nothing. And me being as bad as I am with technical things, have no idea if it’s because of iCloud. Could it be? Can I turn it off without losing my 3000+ photos and videos? I don’t know, and I’m not willing to try it, and lose it all. A visit to Apple Store when back home is a must!
With that said… Did I have a fun Sunday? Not really. As I said, my body is full of hormones and this time around I’m feeling sad about things. Missing Eric so much it brings tears to my eyes and I just want to sleep the days away until we’re together again. To be fair, five days not together turned into three weeks!
I know my body quite well and understand why I feel the way I do, and therefore I’m good at apologising for my behaviour when the hormones take over my body. It’s horrible not to be able to control it. This month I’m feeling down and sad. Last month I got furious about absolutely nothing and felt so bad afterwards. It’s like a monster you can’t put in a leash. You just can’t control it. I guess all women are different. Some have no problems, others feel a little bit and some have really bad PMS. Like me! My body reacts strongly to when I’m on the pill, compared to when I’m not and feel fine. And it’s not only my mood, it’s also my body that change quite a bit. Gaining weight, but that’s not a problem to me, luckily.
It’s hard to try and explain for a man how much your head change, and how terrible it is knowing it and not being able to control it. What good explanations are there really, that makes sense? And, for a man, can a woman use her hormones whenever she feels she did or said something wrong? It’s definitely hard for a woman, knowing how much her psyche changes during this period of the month. But also, not only during this period. Our bodies are full of hormones twentyfour-seven and we can react to things differently every time. Nutters! Yes, that’s how it feels us women are like. But we just can’t do anything about it. It’s not by choice we’ve chosen to be filled with all these hormones, it’s just how our bodies are made to function and to be able to do what our bodies are suppose to do, I guess.
As a woman, when I start thinking back of how I can be, it is a bit funny. When you’re in it it’s hell, but the things you say and react to is so out of order sometimes that there is nothing else to do than to laugh about it. Afterwards, of course!! Sorry Eric, that you have to go through this with me, and not really feel or understand it. Xxx