Erika: I’m off to work again, for two weeks, and back on a bad internet. I say bad, but it’s really none existent and drives me crazy. In Swedish we say “ha kort stubin”, which would translate into something along the lines with “be a loose cannon”. That’s me. With bad internet and other things, like running late. But I have to try and calm myself down when it happens, because that is kind of all we have when being apart. We call it our internet home, that we know too well by now.
Eric and I didn’t meet online, but it has been where we got to know each other and where we started talking properly. We used to love it and called it our internet home with a smile on our lips. It was all we had, and we used to wait with excitement for that next text on WhatsApp. Now that has changed. Our internet home means that we are not with each other, physically. And now, knowing how it is to have a life at home, offline, we don’t want our internet home anymore. It’s a must for now and we know it will change soon, but it’s getting harder every time we meet. At the same time, I don’t want our internet home to be remembered as something boring, bad or sad just because we’ve started having a more everyday kind of tone in our texts. It was the start of us and I look back at it with a bit of excitement, still.
I remember our first phone call. I will never forget it. Maybe because it was me calling him, or maybe because our internet home changed from only texts to phone calls, and later on video calls. It took us to the next level, in a way.
I had never thought about calling him before that day. Maybe I thought it wasn’t appropriate. I have no idea…
That first phone call was on a Tuesday. To be more precise, it was Tuesday the 18th of October 2016 and I was on my way to pick up my shoes for work, that I’d handed in to the cobblers. I was really excited that day, because the day before I had bought a pair of winter Louboutins. My first pair (and last!)! I had brought them with me to get them impregnated. A pair of Louboutins! And I was still walking around with the “what have I done, what have I done, what have I done!” feeling, that you get when you’ve bought something a bit too expensive to be worth it. And I’m not even a fan of the famous red sole company’s shoes. But these ones… It was the rough sole that got to me. Perfect for Scandinavian winter weather, plus they looked so chic. Erika style, all the way!
Anyway… Eric and I was texting on WhatsApp as I walked towards the cobblers. I knew he was sat at an airport having a few beers, while waiting for boarding. I missed hearing his voice and I knew I wouldn’t see him for a long time. So I decided to call him! I pressed the dial button and I got really nervous. I didn’t really thought it through… When I talk to people on the phone I find their voices sound different, than in real life. No change this time. And I was calling the love of my life for the first time. And he had had a few beers. AND my first language isn’t English! And then add the nerves to that…
We talked like normal, and laughed a lot, and then he had to board and told me he’d call me back as soon as he had landed, which he did. That was the start to our new internet home. Phone calls.
I don’t remember when we added video calls to that. Or started with Skype. It feels like our internet home is a little here and a little there. We’re using a lot of different apps, whatever the internet allows us to use at that precise time.
Memories are a funny thing. Eric and I probably have a lot of the same memories, but not all of them are the same of course. Sometimes we ask each other about our favourite memories so far, and we smile thinking back on them, even if it hasn’t been that long, our relationship. Me making that first phone call is a memory I’ll always bring with me, and smile when thinking of it. I know exactly where I was. And where Eric was.
I love you so much Eric, and I already miss you and all your wisdom. Xxx